


He Was Never Mine

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Post-Sirius in Azkaban, mating for life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 15:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5933767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random Snape musings</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Was Never Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

He was never mine. Not really. The words whispered in the dark, pressed up against the damp wall of the dungeon, meant nothing in the end. I knew that. I had always known that.

The fact that he came to me even after you were free from Azkaban should mean something to you, Black, but I know it doesn't. I can tell already, from the look of pity and disgust in his eyes whenever he looks at me, that he considers our time to together to be a mistake.

And don't think that that hurts me or that I fell in love or that I have some kind of emotional attachment to him, because it doesn't, I didn't, and I don't. He was convenient, a warm distraction from the approaching war.

You know, of course. He couldn't lie to you, but just like he would forgive you anything, you cannot stay angry with him. But me? Oh, yes, you will not, cannot forgive me anything.

Harbor no illusions, Black. I may have been using him, but he was using me in turn. That fact, he relished throwing in my face, every time we were together. He was trying to forget you, forget the fact that you did not come to him immediately after your escape. I was convenient to him much as he was convenient to me.

I never claimed him as my own. I have not forgotten so much of my Dark Arts training that I do not remember one very important fact about werewolves -- they mate for life, and he has been yours since before we left Hogwarts all those years ago.

That bond can never be severed, that much was obvious the moment you stepped into the Great Hall, your name recently cleared of that pesky murder charge, and the years melted away from him. You stopped, briefly, to speak to Potter, probably offering him a home away from the Muggles, and then you stood, your eyes never wavering from his.

Did you realize, Black, that almost everyone in that Hall on that day, from students to professors, was waiting, wondering which one of you would run to the other's arms first? But neither of you moved, both wary, waiting for some sign from the other. Finally he motioned you to join him at the table, and you took the seat on his right.

Did you notice the brief flick of his eyes to me before you got to the table? Did you figure it out then? Or did he have to spell it out for you?

I noticed the small touches and smiles and glances as breakfast progressed, but I ignored them, keeping my eyes focused on the students. And when you two rose from the table, nodding in passing to Dumbledore as you prepared to leave the hall, his eyes met mine briefly. Defiance glimmered there, letting me know that he would not be returning to my bed.

But I'd known that since the moment you entered the hall, Black. After all, he was never mine to begin with.

++++ End.


End file.
